Free your mind

Azmi’s grandmother once famously said “When in doubt, whip it out”- I tried- and even though it amused me for some time it didn’t seem to solve anything [maybe I was doing it wrong]

But if not to whip it out then how else is a person supposed to take a decision.

Now I have been confused most of my life- so I have always known what I wanted.

Now most people complain about though decisions and I always believed that one thing most people forget is no matter how hard their day, no matter how tough their choices, how complex their ethical decisions, you always get to choose.

So how to make those difficult decisions- I don’t know but I know what helps.

We are men! Throughout history, we have always needed, in times of difficulty, to retreat to our caves. It so happens that in this modern age, our caves are fully plumbed. The toilet is, for us, the last stronghold, the final refuge, the last few square feet of man-space left to us! Somewhere to sit, somewhere to think, somewhere to do things, and who gives a damn about the smell? Because that, for us, is happiness- that for us is bliss and that is where man can make the best and most complex of decisions. because we are men. We are different. We have only one word for soap. We do not own candles. We do not own magazines fill of pictures of celebrities with all their clothes on. For us things are simpler- When we have conversations, we actually take it in turns to talk! But we have not yet reached that level of earth-shattering boredom and inhuman despair that we would have a haircut recreationally. We don't know how to get excited about... really, really boring things, like ornaments and bath oil- we have more important things to worry about. I mean, we do not even know what in the world the purpose of pot-pourri! Looks like breakfast, smells like your aunt! Why do we need that?

So in this strange and frightening world, the toilet is the one last place to call our own. This toilet, this blessed pot, this... fortress of solitude. You girls, you may go to the bathroom in groups of two or more. Yet we do not pass comment. We do not make judgment. That is your choice. But we men will always walk the toilet mile... alone.

And it is in this toilet that we make our decisions- of course I just moved and it is now that I realize the importance of the toilet- my toilet- when I have to take decision- but I have nowhere, no one to go to.

So everybody reading this- I want you to take this time to truly respect your toilet- it gives you more than you will ever give it.