I've grown up with the movies. They have inspired my living. They have as a matter of fact been the primary source of my education. Sex ed would be a lot more complicated without the movies. Karate kid taught me self defense. Home Alone taught me to shave. Die hard thought me to swear. I learned history from Gladiator, Science from Back to the Future and math from a beautiful mind. But at this moment I am starting to regret it. Because the movies taught me about Love- and romance it seems is a lie.
Kate Winslet- Sam Mendes
Sandra Bullock- Jesse James
Reese Witherspoon- Jake Gyllenhaal
Kristen Stewert- Michael Angarano
Susan Sarandon- Tim Robbins
These are just some of the couples from the film world who have broken up over the past 12 months. What I am saying is this, if the woman who ran back to a sinking ship to try and save the man she loves can't seem to make a relationship work in real life, what are my chances- to make matters worse I'm not very picturgenic if you want to draw me naked- at least Kate had that going for her.
Sandra bullock found love on a bus that couldn't slow down, got a comatose guy and his brother to fall in love with her. She had a romance with her relationship phobic boss in 2 weeks notice and with her assistant in the Proposal but guess what- shes getting a divorce. If she can't have someone be into her what are my chances. It's Bollocks.
Jake Gyllenhaals gay romance ended with heart and back break and but even the gay cowboy romantic couldn't keep his romance going with a woman who went to law school to be with her boy-friend. I mean lets face it these two are committed but for some reason even they couldn't stay committed to each other.
Kristen Stewert- this woman stayed with the guy she loved even after she found out he was a 100 year old vampire, She stayed with him after she found out he glittered in the sun, she stayed with him even though he looked like Robert Pattison. She stayed with him even after a mostly topless six-packed warewolf tried to seduce he-this woman was ready to put up with all this- Imean clearly she haslow standards and expectations but even her standards of love could not be reached. If she can't do it, how can I. I actually want a girl who doesn't randomly climb trees.
These people have actual practice making love work but I don't. If they don't have happy endings how can I? I have for my entire life searched for an happy ending and I have come to realize there are no such thing as an happy ending for one good reason. There are no endings. Things go on, life goes on and love goes on. They don't end like in the movies. They just don't end- there's happy and there's unhappy but there is no ending.
So I'm starting to think that the movies have instigated in me a kind of longing for romance that doesn't exist in the long run but then again it seems to exist in me. So it has to be real because otherwise it means I am not real.
I suppose at the end the truth is life is larger than the movies and I am larger than life.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Somewhere over the Romeo
A friend very recently asked a very relevant question on her Facebook wall ( "How long does being in love with someone last when the other someone isn't showing they love that person back?" ) It's a great question and one worth thinking about. There is of course a standard answer to this kind of question; that answer being "It depends" but my job here is not to depend but comprehend and so I have come up with my own standard answer or more appropriately an answer of standard. There are a few basic things that come in the way of getting over somebody and they as follows:
If you are a girl from now on you will be refereed to as Juliet and the idea is to get over Romeo and Vice Versa if you are a guy. You know what to do if your gay.
1- The Hope and Skip
The idea is this- Romeo is mostly horrible to you but then they do something sweet, an act of genuine goodness towards you. This something often makes you overlook every other asshole thing the other person has done and makes you feel a sense of hope. ("This sweet thing- this is real- the assholeness isn't- if we were together it would be more like this- he does care about me") This in turn gives fuel for you to go on through the next 100 asshole things Romeo will do till the next act of sweetness ("So what if he killed my mother by choking her with my kitten while sleeping with my arch nemesis he said he missed me when I was at my mother's funeral") . Juliet always looks for this moment of hope that allows her to skip through the 100 other things because it backs up their Gut feeling.
P.S- The act of sweetness is often only sweet because the person did it, if someone else had done something similar for you, you couldn't care less ("Thank you for coming to my mother and cat's joint funeral this way I can tell you what a sweet guy Romeo is because he misses me while I am here and he is in bed with my arch nemesis")
2- Guthead
The second factor is the voice in the gut. No matter what you do, no matter what you say, no matter what's going on on the outside- deep deep deep down inside you always always feel that
Romeo feels the same way about you.Your gut says at the end it will be like you want it to be. So people often inadvertently follow their gut because they can't trace the origin of
this feeling witch makes the feeling something more mystical, supernatural- it feels like a premonition- fateful and it is often very deceiving. Here's the thing though- the definition of Gut in the dictionary is
this-part of the alimentary canal and especially the intestine or stomach you see there's hardly anything magical about it. Your Gut quite literally
knows shit. But your gut says your gut is right. As long as this Gut feeling exists you cannot get over anybody.
3- The Ugly Fuckling
The Phenomena is this- at this time- when you need some one else (a rebound) Cupid decides it's time for baby to get back for all that hate you give to love. And so the opposite sex can now some how sense you are into someone else and this seems to attract them but there's a problem with
this- everyone who is attracted to you at this point is just not that great. They are all either Ugly, Boring, Retarded or Crazy if not all of the above and instead of finding a rebound you end up feeling Romeo is so much better than every other idiot who is coming your way. Which only makes Romeo seem better and better to you when in all reality the truth is they are only relatively better. You see- it depends
The above three are key reason it's so difficult to get over somebody. So how long does it take. There are a few factors to keep in mind when answering that question.
The history of the relationship- in answering this question I am going to assume that Romeo and Juliet did not just get out of a relationship. That they are and will remain friends for a while.
I am also assuming that the person has an inkling of what's going on
It could take anywhere between 3 months to 5 years. The most important thing is to find someone else. Not a rebound but an actual person who can break your heart. The only way to really get over a person is to find someone else to get over. We are only happy in heartbreak.
If you are a girl from now on you will be refereed to as Juliet and the idea is to get over Romeo and Vice Versa if you are a guy. You know what to do if your gay.
1- The Hope and Skip
The idea is this- Romeo is mostly horrible to you but then they do something sweet, an act of genuine goodness towards you. This something often makes you overlook every other asshole thing the other person has done and makes you feel a sense of hope. ("This sweet thing- this is real- the assholeness isn't- if we were together it would be more like this- he does care about me") This in turn gives fuel for you to go on through the next 100 asshole things Romeo will do till the next act of sweetness ("So what if he killed my mother by choking her with my kitten while sleeping with my arch nemesis he said he missed me when I was at my mother's funeral") . Juliet always looks for this moment of hope that allows her to skip through the 100 other things because it backs up their Gut feeling.
P.S- The act of sweetness is often only sweet because the person did it, if someone else had done something similar for you, you couldn't care less ("Thank you for coming to my mother and cat's joint funeral this way I can tell you what a sweet guy Romeo is because he misses me while I am here and he is in bed with my arch nemesis")
2- Guthead
The second factor is the voice in the gut. No matter what you do, no matter what you say, no matter what's going on on the outside- deep deep deep down inside you always always feel that
Romeo feels the same way about you.Your gut says at the end it will be like you want it to be. So people often inadvertently follow their gut because they can't trace the origin of
this feeling witch makes the feeling something more mystical, supernatural- it feels like a premonition- fateful and it is often very deceiving. Here's the thing though- the definition of Gut in the dictionary is
this-part of the alimentary canal and especially the intestine or stomach
knows shit. But your gut says your gut is right. As long as this Gut feeling exists you cannot get over anybody.
3- The Ugly Fuckling
The Phenomena is this- at this time- when you need some one else (a rebound) Cupid decides it's time for baby to get back for all that hate you give to love. And so the opposite sex can now some how sense you are into someone else and this seems to attract them but there's a problem with
this- everyone who is attracted to you at this point is just not that great. They are all either Ugly, Boring, Retarded or Crazy if not all of the above and instead of finding a rebound you end up feeling Romeo is so much better than every other idiot who is coming your way. Which only makes Romeo seem better and better to you when in all reality the truth is they are only relatively better. You see- it depends
The above three are key reason it's so difficult to get over somebody. So how long does it take. There are a few factors to keep in mind when answering that question.
The history of the relationship- in answering this question I am going to assume that Romeo and Juliet did not just get out of a relationship. That they are and will remain friends for a while.
I am also assuming that the person has an inkling of what's going on
It could take anywhere between 3 months to 5 years. The most important thing is to find someone else. Not a rebound but an actual person who can break your heart. The only way to really get over a person is to find someone else to get over. We are only happy in heartbreak.
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