A brief history of man

I dont want to write the old book anymore- I dont care for it anymore so like with all the other things I do in life I am gonna quit.

Instead I am starting a new book- But this one is non-fiction

I call it "A brief history of man"

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This book is a brief history of history itself, from the first man to the last man I met since I started this book.

How did man begin?

It wasnt evolution or creationism , it was orgasm.

The early humans lived in caves

These Humans were put into two genders- they were either MALE or THE WEAKER SEX

It was at around this time that the first femenist movement came along- they insisted that the two genders be called

MALE and THE EQUALLY WEAK SEX

The Job of the weaker sex was as follows
Bare children
bare the tantrums of children
look after the cave
laundry (do you know how hard it is to get blood stains out of panther skin)
Take interior designing courses
Cook
Nag
Gossip (did you hear Fred is sleeping with barneys wife)


It was the Job of the Men to go hunting and bring food into the cavehold

the men did this by digging large holes and covering them up with leaves, so that when unsuspecting dinosaurs would walk by they would fall into the hole and die then the men would jump out from the bushes, where they were hiding and capture the Dinosaur. Unfortunately no one told these people that Dinosaurs were extinct. So the cavemen pretty much just sat around hiding behind bushes waiting for Dinosaurs to walk by.

ofcourse the men never told the women they never caught dinosaurs and when ever asked they would only reply

"shushh I am the panther wearer in this family"
Trivia
this is where the term pants originated from

It was while these men waited behind the bushes doing nothing that some men started fidgeting around and it was in doing this that the first primitive tools were invented- it was also at this time that masterbation was discovered.

One of these men- Mr akukuku discovered fire.
This soon become one of the most popular products during the christmas season

Then came mr akukukukus rival comany- Mr jomomo who had his own discovery (ice) and as a way of countering the popularity of the fire he went on a huge marketing campaign and gave out free samples to everyone. This marketing campaign is now known as

THE ICE AGE