Wednesday, April 18, 2007

This is the End

Cambrdge students- you are graduating soon- and in all probabilisty I am going ot be hosting your graduation but before I do I think I should just tell all you guys need some advice by a man who has experience in the real world- please go find such a man- until then, you have me



Graduation is an end of an era for many- The end of school. The foundations of our education- school has taught us a lot- This is were we first learned biology looking at those pictures and scribbling in the bathroom walls. This is where we learned about the laws of Physics as we tried to move around undetected, trying to break the segregation rules- and on those fleeting moment that we did manage to break the segregation rules we learned about chemistry.

Before I continue I think we should just give a huge round of applause to the parents- We would not have been here without them. They have done a lot for you, they paid for your education, they took care off you- bought you up and now you are finally graduating- They can all now just rest in the retirement clinics you are all going to send them too.

You have no direction in life- you dont know what you want- best thing to do is get everything- This is your time-leave no stone unturned, no oppurtunity untried- this is your time- after this- when they arrest you are charged as an adult.

The truth is a years ago I sat where you guys will be sitting on may 1st and I thought exactly what you are now thinking: What's going to happen to me? Will I find my place in the world? Is there going to be booze at the after party? Did this guy just use the word booze and after party in the same sentence in front of my parents?

I sat there an year ago thinking- where will I be a year from now- I have come a long way since then- Last year during may 1st I was in Cambridge this year I will be at Cambridge= This time of course I will be hosting. And frankly I like it better up here. A year ago, right where you will be sitting sat a young boy, Smart, handsome, intelligent, articulate, funny, charming and mildly athletic and sitting right next to him was me. I wasn’t nervous- I was just a little lost inside my robe.

What I really think is that the graduation ceremony gets kinda boring- They should announce the certificates like the Oscars- An awards ceremony if you will- complete with the fashion police making comments of the your robes.

Just imagine the glitter and glamour of it all- Complete with nominees- and the winners speeches- I suggest we call them the Awards ‘The Abrahams’ ™

I can just hear the winners speech now

“"Oh God, I dont believe this, I dont know what to say, I wish I had prepared some speech.
I would like to thank my parents, they are sitting right there- MOM stop doing that you are embracing me. I would like to thank our new principle Mr Mc Laughlin for giving us new and improved restrooms- now we call flush all that extra fees money we are paying down brand new toilets. I would like to thank Mr Abraham- he has been like a father to me, we even have the same nose- The resemblance is uncanny I tell you. I would like to thank my teachers, who put faith in me- They taught me everything I know, which I know isn’t saying much and lastly I would like to thank Mr Rohan Roberts- I have absolutely no idea why I am thanking you but if I don’t GOD knows what you would do.”

Okay I have confession to make- the only reason I am doing this is for a recommendation letter.

Now I am not a pessimist- I see the glass half full- but then I realize we live in a desert and the water is only an illusion. That’s right this is the end of the worst best part of your life. Remember as a teeneger you are in the last stage of your life- after that you are living for others. Enjoy it while you can, Don’t believe me- look at your parents- sitting in a stuffy auditorium on a Tuesday night watching people kids come up on stage and collect a piece of paper

Shakespeare once said that- “thou aren’t who thou chooses to be, alas who thou are chooses thee”- Okay Shakespeare did not say that- I just made that up but it sounded pretty smart anyway and I think that’s a good way to end my speech- I will leave you another line I heard- a line from MR Abraham that inspired me to be who I am today-

It goes something like this

“YOU- in my office- NOW”

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Gasp my comment didnt publish!

Ahem - It is fantastic!!! =D TAPE it, and send it to me so I can see how brilliant it was..

=D

Joey said...

*shudders*

ManicMane said...

One tip. No mockery whilst reading names!