One night as I lay in bed, half alive or half dead- depending on whether you are a pessimist or an optimist- I discovered the only answer to why I was depressed; I was having a mid-life. So I decided to do what any man would do in such a situation, quit my job, buy an extremely fast car and cheat on my girl. Of course then I remembered I had no job to quit, no money to buy an extremely fast car or a girlfriend to cheat on and that’s when it hit me- I had no job, no money and no girl no wonder I was having a mid-life crisis.
So began my quest to find all three. Women love me, you will find women are always chasing and surrounding me after which they take turns in kicking me after pushing to the floor. But I can be extremely charming; I never forget to compliment the legs of the women kicking me.
I put women up on a pedestal but only so that I can look up their skirt.
The way to a woman’s heart is through her rib cage. The secret to a mans heart is through the objects that lay on top of a woman’s rib cage.
If none of that works I need money, I might not get her heart but with enough money and a trip to the right district one can easily get the rest of a woman.
Don’t get me wrong here, I love women with all my heart and other body parts.
Contrary to common understanding the three most important word in the English language is “it’s all benign”
All teenage guys- some more than others- lead their life based on Sarcasm and orgasm.
I am not a pessimist or an optimist, I am a narcissist- I drink from and I believe I deserve everyone’s half full or half empty glasses.
All of life’s great mysteries can be explained through the four P’s- Prayer, Philosophy, Physics and Pussy.
3 comments:
Oh my! Something's unleashed the philosopher in you...this was an educational read i must say. Here are a few *ahem* queries that shall we say begets another line of questioning...
you say philosophy, physics and pussy. Ok... so essentianly, its questions, qualms and quantum sufficit endocrine response. Hmm... seems like a contradiction. Correlation between an established science [ sex] and a heavily questioned science [einstein ] doesn't sound right. Physics.. ok, theories have been jutified through emipirical observations. However, suffice to say, how dependant can we be on a male brain to quantify anything theoretical if his premises for survival [ the three p's ] entail REVOLUTIONARY conclusions. Is it to say MEN really rule the world? Or is it just the narcissists? Ahh too many questions hehehehe
good stuff my friend! keep the brilliance flowing!
Tsk tsk, your talking in prof textbooks again, Rakhshi... Watch a bit of Family Guy or South Park amongst all that intellectual metaphysics/physics, sweety.
As for you, Hysum - note this: remember the struggle that most men go through with their penis and their brain battling it out? This last post of yours proves one thing to me - you're not part of that generic. It appears that these two 'vital organs' of yours are one and the same. This entry was filled with as much brain as it was with penis, and you dear boy, are a very lucky man... But you already know that.
Ahh thanks Dilini... rereaeding my comment shocked me! Hahahah... too much too much. You're right. time to induldge in some Stewie fun! :D
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