Thursday, January 22, 2009

the suicide kid

I have decided to take Sam's suggestion I shall now follow people such as Hitler into Naziness, I mean suicide. I have no will to live but I have written will for death. All my possessions will go to charity including my student loan bills, my bastard child and my court order for possession of drugs, as a matter of fact those are all my possessions.

You are probably wondering what drove me to kill myself, I was hopping it would be a cabbie but they are impossible to catch, extremely dangerous and oh so expensive, I mean if I was to run as fast as the metre on these cabs I would get there faster than the cab. So that is to say I walked into my own grave, figuratively speaking not literally. I am afraid of heights well I guess a grave is more depths but its kinda the depth from the ground so its heights. Its complicated really. I guess my mode of transportation is not all that important to you at all. Lets just gt back to why I killed myself.

There are many reasons- The first one of course is depression. No, I am not talking about being sad I mean the economy. We are in a depression and while I don't understand economics I understand people will be made redundant and while I dont totally understand what the word means I am gonna guess its re doing whats dun which we dant have to do. Simply put why re do what we dundant. I am also killing myself cause I am lonely but not in a cool way like the lone ranger but in a crappy way like RnB singers. I have no one just one gnome. A garden Gnome, I call him Grape. Cause I like Grapes [Note the G in Gnome is silent but the G in Grape is not]. I am killing myself because the girl I love doesn't love me back, she loves me front, me side and me top but just wont love me from the back. She says its very awkward. So now I am going to hang myself after which I will commit suicide. I am also killing myself cause I am filled with angst in my pants or are those ants. Eitherways its in my pants.

I want to die in a wholly original way. Lie no one has committed suicide. That is to say I have decided to die of old age. I mean you guys know life and lets face it- life is nothing but suicide in tiny increments.

4 comments:

superpowerfulman said...

Looks like no one cares about me killing myself.

Azarakhsh said...

We do care, it's just too hard to believe seeing as you'll have to go through me before you kill yourself.

i.e. I wont let you.

Bah!


Also- who the hell TOLD you to kill yourself?

superpowerfulman said...

Don't worry I ain't going anywhere- anytime soon.

Marv said...

HYSUM! You are hilarious! This post made my morning...I decided to come back to your blog cause I was avoiding work and was glad I did.
Dude, you better start writing again!!