On the eve of my 19th birthday I present to you a personal note posted on the internet to my friends.
In Alphabetic Dyslexic order.
Azmi-
We have know each other for half a decade now and thanks for everything. This is for you man.
NOTE: We are not homosexual, not that there is anything wrong with that.
Dilini-
You were part of a great part of my life. The end wasn't all that great but I am glad it happened, including the end. Good luck with the rest of your life and the rest of your love.
Eva-
Thanks a bunch- you are one of the few reasons I look forward to going to uni (as a matter of fact I love uni) . That black spot is a great place for some great conversation.
Faisal
While I wouldn't dedicate the man love song to you. Partly because you are homophobic in your own secure way but with no sarcasm, humour or irony intended- you are great friend. Enjoy the army.
Fatimah
I don't really know you all that well but what I do know of you qualifies you as my favorite Fatimah and I know quite a few. So Heres hoping we get to see more of each other.
Hind-
You don't read my blog but I shall write anyway. I am turning 19 but you remind me what its like to be a 6 year old again and I love that. Thank you for making me laugh like a little girl.
Hysum
You rock man.
Judy
You are one of my favoritest people in the world and i dont even know why. i havent known you for long but rest assured I want to make sure I know you till the year 2050.
Rakshi
I love you for everything that you and everything that you are not and i love you for everything you have made me.
PS: in a non- hetrosexual way ofcourse
Sanaa
Behna-You are part of my permanant praying list. May all the worlds happiness come your way and while i know that all the wworlds happiness may not be possible i know you deserve it all.
Weji-
I have absolutely no idea what i would do without you. You are my brain and my motivation. Heres hoping I grow up this birthday.
My other readers
God bless you all. Keep reading- I have a surprise in store soon,
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Monday, July 23, 2007
Chapter Three- Animal farm
Once the ice age was over the humans noticed many of the animals were dying and humans could no more rely on animals for their food.
This is when humans first decided to rear animals. This was know as sodomy/ beastyality.
Later humans decided to tame animals. This was known as S&M.
Once it came to light that mating with animals was no way increase their population the humans decided to use the animals for farming.
The humans were now living starting to build civilizations. some inovaters thinkers said "why the hell do we have to move around so much. Lets just stay at one place. and so they did. In the process building communities based purely on laziness.
On these communities were farms. that grew wheat, weed and cocoa pops.
This is when humans first decided to rear animals. This was know as sodomy/ beastyality.
Later humans decided to tame animals. This was known as S&M.
Once it came to light that mating with animals was no way increase their population the humans decided to use the animals for farming.
The humans were now living starting to build civilizations. some inovaters thinkers said "why the hell do we have to move around so much. Lets just stay at one place. and so they did. In the process building communities based purely on laziness.
On these communities were farms. that grew wheat, weed and cocoa pops.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
The Set up
This is our villain. He has nothing to say. He sleeps alone; he does not want to take over the world. He wants control of his own world. Give me freedom or give a fuck
This is the world, populated by you. We were all immortal for one moment.
Unable to sleep, our hero walks the streets alone. Its his job not to sleep at night.
A child dies at the hands of our villain. We were all children once and we choked them to death.
This child bleeds to death; endless and eternal- escaping. O
Our villain wants some coffee to help him swallow his guilt. He chooses a diner, our hero works there.
Our hero serves and feeds the villain.
And so begins their conversation.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Play melancholy baby
Look at the end of your finger. Your finger print... look at it-- You are the only one in the entire universe with lines in that patern, you are unique- EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU IS UNIQUE-
Is there anything in the world more lonely than that.
Repeat after me
I am a loser, I have failed, I am pathetic, I am worthless. I am who I am because of my ultimate lack of conviction.
That is our lullaby
Its how we fall assleep
You are addicted to your life
Its bad for you, its terrible- your life is the thing that will ultimately kill you.
Change now
Go
Change
If only change was a choice
You are a phychological sLut
The world is
too big
too huge
too many people
too many things
too many people
we need to be selfish- so the world comes down to a manageable size
Welcome to mental masturbation 101
Is there anything in the world more lonely than that.
Repeat after me
I am a loser, I have failed, I am pathetic, I am worthless. I am who I am because of my ultimate lack of conviction.
That is our lullaby
Its how we fall assleep
You are addicted to your life
Its bad for you, its terrible- your life is the thing that will ultimately kill you.
Change now
Go
Change
If only change was a choice
You are a phychological sLut
The world is
too big
too huge
too many people
too many things
too many people
we need to be selfish- so the world comes down to a manageable size
Welcome to mental masturbation 101
Monday, July 09, 2007
One hit wonder
Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Welcome to the GREATEST SHOW on Earth.
This is a break from the book- to show you guys something else-
Its a movie made in my university
By a person who I will not name-
Enjoy-
One hit wonder
by the one who shall not be named unless they choose to do so themselves.
This is a break from the book- to show you guys something else-
Its a movie made in my university
By a person who I will not name-
Enjoy-
One hit wonder
by the one who shall not be named unless they choose to do so themselves.
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Chapter 2- Ice ice baby
The ice age was a harsh and tortures time for most human beings. But enough about the movie- lets get back to history.
The ice resulted in the extinction of many animals including
The woolly mammoth
The nylon mammoth
The 100% original denim mammoth
The platypus (was discover again recently to be alive)
The hairypuss (was reincarnated by the hippies)
The Cave people spent most of their lives in caves (as their name suggests) they battled the cold by living in close knit communities, where everything was shared- these people told each other stories teaching each other about the importance of honour and honesty. They were simple people- Thee people (as thought by history books and schools) are know as barbarians.
These people did not have electricity so they were forced to watch television by candle light.
They did not have most of the superficial things in life that really matters.
To battle the harsh ice age the best minds of the barbarian world came together and came upon a solution. This solution was criticized far and wide as stupid and people said it would work. The rolling stones called the plan “a piece of crap”- but the plan happened to work and as a matter of fact is so popular and great that it still works. But of course people still criticize the plan and call it crap.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
A brief history of man
I dont want to write the old book anymore- I dont care for it anymore so like with all the other things I do in life I am gonna quit.
Instead I am starting a new book- But this one is non-fiction
I call it "A brief history of man"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This book is a brief history of history itself, from the first man to the last man I met since I started this book.
How did man begin?
It wasnt evolution or creationism , it was orgasm.
The early humans lived in caves
These Humans were put into two genders- they were either MALE or THE WEAKER SEX
It was at around this time that the first femenist movement came along- they insisted that the two genders be called
MALE and THE EQUALLY WEAK SEX
The Job of the weaker sex was as follows
Bare children
bare the tantrums of children
look after the cave
laundry (do you know how hard it is to get blood stains out of panther skin)
Take interior designing courses
Cook
Nag
Gossip (did you hear Fred is sleeping with barneys wife)
It was the Job of the Men to go hunting and bring food into the cavehold
the men did this by digging large holes and covering them up with leaves, so that when unsuspecting dinosaurs would walk by they would fall into the hole and die then the men would jump out from the bushes, where they were hiding and capture the Dinosaur. Unfortunately no one told these people that Dinosaurs were extinct. So the cavemen pretty much just sat around hiding behind bushes waiting for Dinosaurs to walk by.
ofcourse the men never told the women they never caught dinosaurs and when ever asked they would only reply
"shushh I am the panther wearer in this family"
Trivia
this is where the term pants originated from
It was while these men waited behind the bushes doing nothing that some men started fidgeting around and it was in doing this that the first primitive tools were invented- it was also at this time that masterbation was discovered.
One of these men- Mr akukuku discovered fire.
This soon become one of the most popular products during the christmas season
Then came mr akukukukus rival comany- Mr jomomo who had his own discovery (ice) and as a way of countering the popularity of the fire he went on a huge marketing campaign and gave out free samples to everyone. This marketing campaign is now known as
THE ICE AGE
Instead I am starting a new book- But this one is non-fiction
I call it "A brief history of man"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This book is a brief history of history itself, from the first man to the last man I met since I started this book.
How did man begin?
It wasnt evolution or creationism , it was orgasm.
The early humans lived in caves
These Humans were put into two genders- they were either MALE or THE WEAKER SEX
It was at around this time that the first femenist movement came along- they insisted that the two genders be called
MALE and THE EQUALLY WEAK SEX
The Job of the weaker sex was as follows
Bare children
bare the tantrums of children
look after the cave
laundry (do you know how hard it is to get blood stains out of panther skin)
Take interior designing courses
Cook
Nag
Gossip (did you hear Fred is sleeping with barneys wife)
It was the Job of the Men to go hunting and bring food into the cavehold
the men did this by digging large holes and covering them up with leaves, so that when unsuspecting dinosaurs would walk by they would fall into the hole and die then the men would jump out from the bushes, where they were hiding and capture the Dinosaur. Unfortunately no one told these people that Dinosaurs were extinct. So the cavemen pretty much just sat around hiding behind bushes waiting for Dinosaurs to walk by.
ofcourse the men never told the women they never caught dinosaurs and when ever asked they would only reply
"shushh I am the panther wearer in this family"
Trivia
this is where the term pants originated from
It was while these men waited behind the bushes doing nothing that some men started fidgeting around and it was in doing this that the first primitive tools were invented- it was also at this time that masterbation was discovered.
One of these men- Mr akukuku discovered fire.
This soon become one of the most popular products during the christmas season
Then came mr akukukukus rival comany- Mr jomomo who had his own discovery (ice) and as a way of countering the popularity of the fire he went on a huge marketing campaign and gave out free samples to everyone. This marketing campaign is now known as
THE ICE AGE
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