Million dollar kid

I was walking down the street- when I saw a suffering kid- on television- I stopped to think and forgot to start again. This post is to raise awareness on the plight of the kids living in poverty. All around the world, millions of kids are living in poverty- They are so poor that their mobile phones don’t even have cameras- and even worse some of their mobile phones don’t even have colour screens.

- Can you even imagine living like that- not having the credit to SMS when you don’t want to waste credit. – every year every year millions of kids die due to unsubstantial telecommunications- You can help these kids- by the year 2010 there should be one cell phone in the hand of every kid- you can help reach these kids- connect to these people- after all that is the motto of the great charity organization – NOKIA.

- I say a cell phone in the HAND of every kid because they don’t have pockets to keep it in. We need to help these children get pants because there is nothing like the great lifting sensation that a nicely fitted pair of pants can provide. Send money to these kids who wear torn cloths and let them buy designer torn cloths. Nothing says “content” like a pair of jeans torn at the knees. – By the year 2010 every child should be wearing pants, torn in the right places.

- (giving poor kids pants and cell phones will also reduce the number of people living below the poverty line as the kids will keep their cell phones in their pockets and this will cause their sperm to die from radiation- in effect reducing the amount of poor people.)

- You take your education for granted- demutualization of their intellect has been caused due to the organs (made of cells which are in turn made of tissues) situated in their organ system not getting enough information and other similar components. Poor uneducated children could not even understand what I just wrote- How stupid they must feel as something as simple as that written in such simple day to day language seems incredibly pointless to them. Oh the horror- how many of these kids cant read what I have written on this blog- all they can do is stare at my blog on their laptops without being to able to read a thing.- Every year millions of poor kids die because they cant read my blog. Help them- by the year 2010 may all children be educated and have my blog bookmarked.

Think about it- take a stand- help those in need- send money to Hysums one buck foundation- where every dirham counts- (though the children cant count- because of their lack of education)

little known

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by logic or science- Mr. Abraham is just one example of such things.

- And many men claim women are another but women arent tht hard to understand once you look at them scientifically. Lets start from scratch- Women are made up of DNA- Deoxyribonucleicacid- For those uninitiated with science Deoxyribonucleicacid is a complex string of syllables.

This DNA decides things such as sex, eye colour- any desieces you might have and even your sex orientation- Clearly science disproves the silly superstition that the stars controls and planets control a persons future- that’s just stupid- infact its little colourful stringy things that decide these things.

The female body is complex- and I really don’t have time to talk about all the parts of the female body but know this- each part has a biological function- lets take the breast for example- the sole biological purpose of female breasts are to make men stupid.

The female body is very delicate- it is important that a man touches it with utmost care and devotion taking time to savour every tiny moment of the female body- especially since lately there is so little body involved- Women these days are thin and it has nothing to do with DNA or stars- and it is tragic- falling through sewer frills is now the number one reason for female death. Followed by lung cancer- which can easily be eradicated if cigarettes came with the warning- “contains fat”. The third most common reason for death among women is breast cancer which would be a lot easier to treat if the men doctors treating the women didn’t all of a sudden become stupid.

There is a lot more to write about but time is not my friend- This post will be continued in the near future.

Until then

Women- take care of your bodies or else I will have to do it for you

I'm it

Tag- desktop

You know

babies for dummies

As a child I asked my dad "Where do babies come from?"

He replied

"Your Mum"

I grew up to realize my dad was wrong,. The real answer is a lot more complicated

"where do babies come from?"

INDIA

Babies are Indias highest export.

Now I am not saying all babies come from India but china and India pretty much have a monopoly on them.


Though china has more stock at this moment India is catching up- and fast.


One has to remember most chinese babies are cheap fake versions of Japanese babies. What else do you think the Philipnos are- cheap , pirated versions of the chinese shipped to other countries in containers.

The reason that India manages to make so many is simply economic-

In india labour is cheap still painful but cheap.

But with all their technology why hasnt the western countries been able to get in on the baby business. Well they have tried - with stem cell research, test tube babies and cloning but nothing has really been working and reason is simple. Baby making is more of a manual job and the westerners used to using technology dont have it in them to do manual work.
Hell they insist on using dildos and cyber sex .


As for the cloning the the chinese and blacks have already perfected that.

When born babies arent too complicated - the only organ they have are drool glands.


So to conclude- I have tried to explain the baby phenomenon as simply as possible. I hope it went down as smooth as a babies bottom- you know - I hope whoever invented that expression had babies otherwise its just concerns me how he might have tested his hypothesis


Just remember you cant have a baby in a month- It takes time, patience and a really drunk woman.

Obligation

I am thinking about...
You know who

I said…

We are an Elite Unit

I want to…

Dress up as a pirate and do pirate like things

I wish…

"A thousand such desires, for each desire I suffocate
Many of them fullfilled yet many remain adrift" - Urdu poet guy

I miss…

Please refer to answer one

I make with my hands ...

Love oh sweet love

I write...

So my hands arent otherwise occupied

I hear…

The voices in my head

I wonder…

Why on earth woulod anyone want to read this

I regret…

Not the sins I commitd but the ones I had no opportunity to commit

I am…

Awsum

I dance…

On Terraces

I sing…
Refer to the post "My own personal lyrics"

I cry…

whenever someone sends me a forward that says “Today is “I love you” day. Pass this on to 20 people and your secret crush will propose to you today. Else you will lose your reproductive organ by 12 tonight in a factory accident” otherwise I am Emotionally numb

I am not always…

Making sense

I confuse…

Reality with Fantasy

I need…

Fantasy

I should try…

To cry
I need...

What I have

I finish…

This tag

efil sdrawkcab

Life as it is sucks. There I said it- it has some great bits but as a whole it sucks. I hate the future.

The thing is in the future we have nothing to look forward too. Just death- and well death isnt all that great. I usually enjoy every moment of my life but moments last for moments and so I think that life should be lived inside out- upside down

Backwards

Like I said the most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle should be backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You get married and your love for them increases by the day plus they get younger. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. Then you party, hang out with your friends get the women enjoy campus life you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...


...and you finish off as an orgasm.

They Love ME- They Really love ME

Over the last few days it has come to my knowledge that this blog now has an bigger fanbase than ever before. Its great being a celebrity, being loved. I have never really been loved, not even by my parents- my bath toys were a toaster and a radio- That explains my hair.

Now as a famous person, it is veryt important that my fans know a little about me. Lets begin with my family tree- I looked up my family tree and monkeys threw fruits at me- I looked down my family tree and four dogs were using it as their person urinal.

I ofcourse have many funny anecdotes about my family but I wont write any, you see- The problem with intresting stories is it always reminds someone of a boring one.


Celebrity of course means more women- A girl called me yesterday and said "come on over, theres nobody home- I went over- Nobody was home

A fanbase also means more friends- I mean I never had friends or toys as a child- Hell if I wasnt a boy- I would have nothing to play with.

I mean the only fame I ever got before this was I was once in an ad- for birth control.

Fame does not go so well with relationships- Look at TOMKAT or Bennifer- I am afraid we might be called Hyni.

THis ofcourse will mean I will have to get into acting- I have a very expressive face- I once fell assleep in the library and a blind man was reading my face- Puberty was not a good time for pimples.

Maybe do a film or a TV show- being the great actor that I am- There is a lot of crap on Tv these days- espiecially reality shows- I don't like this reality television, I have to be honest, I think real people should not be on television. It's for special people and actors like us, people who have trained and studied to appear to be real.


Even as I write this I am surrounded by papparatzi- I am typing this outside Jennifer Anistons house.

Some Quick notes

- Thank you to my number one fan, my publisist and the most amazing girl in the world.- Dalini
- Also I have decided to use this blog to help people out- Therefore I am going to start a agony aunt section, if you have problems or question please write them in the comment section I will try to help you out in the next post. You dont have to leave your name- but if you did it would help me answer your questin better also leave your age and gender if you can.

Till then

They love me- They really love me