Prescription

One night as I lay in bed, half alive or half dead- depending on whether you are a pessimist or an optimist- I discovered the only answer to why I was depressed; I was having a mid-life. So I decided to do what any man would do in such a situation, quit my job, buy an extremely fast car and cheat on my girl. Of course then I remembered I had no job to quit, no money to buy an extremely fast car or a girlfriend to cheat on and that’s when it hit me- I had no job, no money and no girl no wonder I was having a mid-life crisis.

So began my quest to find all three. Women love me, you will find women are always chasing and surrounding me after which they take turns in kicking me after pushing to the floor. But I can be extremely charming; I never forget to compliment the legs of the women kicking me.
I put women up on a pedestal but only so that I can look up their skirt.

The way to a woman’s heart is through her rib cage. The secret to a mans heart is through the objects that lay on top of a woman’s rib cage.

If none of that works I need money, I might not get her heart but with enough money and a trip to the right district one can easily get the rest of a woman.

Don’t get me wrong here, I love women with all my heart and other body parts.

Contrary to common understanding the three most important word in the English language is “it’s all benign”

All teenage guys- some more than others- lead their life based on Sarcasm and orgasm.

I am not a pessimist or an optimist, I am a narcissist- I drink from and I believe I deserve everyone’s half full or half empty glasses.

All of life’s great mysteries can be explained through the four P’s- Prayer, Philosophy, Physics and Pussy.

Play Melancholy Baby

Have I got any soul? That depends; some days yes, some days no. A few months ago I was right out; now I've got loads, too much, more than I can handle. I wish I could spread it a bit more evenly, get a better balance, but I can't seem to get it sorted. I can see most people wont be intrested in my internal stock control problems though, so I simply point to where I keep the soul I have, right by the exit, just next to the blues.


So what do I want to do now, I want to make sure I exploit my potential. People seem to believe I do have some- potential.


It was either me or somebody famous who said this but I think it was me back when I pretended I was famous- "I can resist everythng but temptation"


We humans try to do the impossible all the time- its the improbable that we dont even try to conquer.


A lot of of the above probably doesnt make sense- They are just shadows of my feelings- Darker, emptier and simpler.

Its not about weeping because it will be over but smiling because it happened.

I am smiling- cant seem to stop.

Self-fish Inconsiderate prick

God gave man a penis and a brain but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run them both at the same time.

So what is a man to do?

A bodily conflict of interest- You see women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place and preferably a woman too.

Or like Jerry Seinfeld put it "Its like my brain is playing chess with my penis"

Problem is the penis almost always wins- cause unlike the brian it grows.

ofcourse we men aren't all perverts- according to a recent survey the first thing most men notice about a woman is their eyes and women say the first thing they notice about men is tht they are a bunch of liars.

So what to choose, who is right? who is wrong?- is there a right or wrong?

The penis or the brain
The penis or the brain
The penis or the brain

A classic cartoon theme song should give you adequete background informaton on the subject.

The penis and the brain
The penis and the brain
One is a genius
and the others insane.

One of the reasons men wear briefs is because it keeps their penis in a controled enviroment- A strait jacket.

The brain you see has too many things to do, the penis on the other hand is pretty much single minded in its quest. It see's its target and never looks down or backs out till the job is done the

Basicly its not women but men with the hour glass bodies- when the penis fills up the brain empties