Hysum is sitting in a café looking at his watch- he looks annoyed. This is when KAYE walks in.
HYSUM
What took you so long- I have been waiting for an hour
KAYE
Sorry I was in an accident
HYSUM
Whoa- accident, are you alright- are you hurt are you bleeding- did you break anything. Is the car alright
KAYE
No- That kind of accident- I am pregnant
HYSUM
With a baby?
KAYE
No I have an old man in my womb- of course with a baby you idiot. Oh man – our baby is going to come out retarded with a father like you.
HYSUM
I am the father? I can’t be the father- I am not the father- I am a freakin teenager- I cant be a father. Tell me you are cheating on me please tell me you have been cheating on me.
KAYE
I have been cheating on me
HYSUM
Oh god what is wrong with women these days- whats the world coming to if you can’t trust your girlfriend to be a little unfaithful. There are so many good-looking and potent men out there- what do I have that they don’t.
KAYE
It’s not you- it’s me- I am not the cheating kind
HYSUM
Well I am
KAYE
You have been cheating on me.
HYSUM
KAYE- lets not talk about me here- lets talk about you- you are pregnant a lot more important. Another thing that’s important is- this cant be my baby- I was safe. Maybe its one of those you Miracle babies. You know- divine penetration.
KAYE
I know you were safe but just because you have airbags doesn’t mean the car isn’t going to crash.
HYSUM
Crash- crash- this is a wreck- you cant be pregnant are you sure- are you absolutely sure- did you pee on the stick
KAYE
I peed on the stick- I am pregnant
HYSUM
Maybe you didn’t pee right- you need to pee more- you know- do it again
KAYE
Its not rocket science- you just pee on a stick- and I opeed on a lot of sticks- and they all say the same thing
HYSUM
Thank you- try again?
KAYE
No I am pregnant.
HYSUM
Okay okay- fair enough- Have you thought about…
KAYE
No- don’t say it- don’t you dare say it- or even think about it.
HYSUM
What- I wasn’t going to say anything.
KAYE
The A word- Starts with an A sounds like extortion.
HYSUM
Oh no- I was not going to tell you that- never would I say such a thing- I wasn’t even thinking about it. I was just going to say- have you thought what we are going to name are child-
KAYE
Really- is that what you were going to say
HYSUM
Absolutely- But… since up brought up the abortion thing- I was just going to say- only because we are already talking about it-
KAYE
NO
HYSUM
Right of course sure- You haven’t told anyone about this have you
KAYE
Not yet
HYSUM
Great- don’t tell anyone about it- ever- this is our little secret.
KAYE
We hve to tell our parents- I think they wil notice
HYSUM
We will just tell them you got fat or you got gas or something
KAYE
I think they will notice if there is baby sticking out of me
HYSUM
Oh god- my life is ruined- I am finished- done
KAYE
Oh god- I don’t believe how selfish you are being about this
HYSUM
Oh right sorry- You life is ruined to- I mean that’s- end of your life. It’s a curse.
KAYE
Stop saying that about our baby- it’s a gift- a gift from god-
HYSUM
A GIFT- A GIFT- a chine set- that’s a gift- scented candles- that’s a gift- A baby- not so much- you don’t need Martha Stewart to tell you a baby is no gift material.
KAYE
That’s it I am done with you- I didn’t even know why I bothered telling you- you are a horrible boyfriend- you cheat on me- I was hoping you would at least be supportive- I am done with you- I don’t want you to have anything t do with this baby.
HYSUM
You cant leave like that- I might not be the best man in the world- but I m not going to run away from my responsibility- I am sorry- we will get through this- together. I will start right now- I will just dump the other girl- right in front of you
Hysum takes out his cell phone and dials a number
HYSUM
Hello- Mary- Its me- listen- I cant tell you why- but we are done we are over- we cant go out anymore- What- you shut-up- zip- no- liar- no shutup- I say shutup. I am hanging up-
KAYE
Wow- she didn’t take too well- now it’s just you men and our baby right
HYSUM
Yea- not exactly-
KAYE
WHAT- there’s another girl- I have had enough
HYSUM
No- it’s the same girl
KAYE
You didn’t break up? You two timing- bastard
HYSUM
I couldn’t- you see- she just told me- she is pregnant.
