Choices and Sacrifices

This is the moment you have all Been waiting for all your life. That’s right- its my 50 blogpost. I have never been so committed to anything in my life- Of course thts only if you don’t count life itself- which I have been committed to most of my 18 years.

First I was a baby- I don’t count tht as personal commitment, I count tht as commitment from my parents- I mean it takes a lot of commitment to take care of a baby, I cried 24/7- had to be fed- I ran around naked most of the time- I wasn’t toilet trained- so really the first 10 years of my life was more due to commitment from my parents than any personal commitment.

After tht came puberty- I don’t count tht either because I did try to kill myself- puberty is torture, why is it tht the moment you start noticing the opposite sex- you are at your ugliest. You know what I am talking about, especially you women- you are looking to make out but all your time is spent on make up, covering those zits. So yeah Puberty is out.


Then of course there was the teenage years- Where I was completely committed to making absolutely no commitments.

So yeah I there have been a few days here and there where I have been committed. But I am lazy as is my family- like I have said before I think I will just quote

"Laziness is a byproduct of being in my family. It runs in our blood. My mother doesn’t just have our dog get her slippers she makes him put it on her feet. My father drives to ours neighbors' house. My eldest sister (just had a baby boy and is twenty-five) had a portable toilet in her bedroom (that’s kind of because she has a condition which makes her want to pee every thirty minutes). My other sister, older to me by 4 years, takes three hours to eat lunch because she is too lazy too chew more than thrice every minute. My 8 year old brother on the other hand seems to have received all the energy god forgot to give us. He is always jumping around and doing all kinds of crap. Every time you see him its as if he just drank ten gallons of coffee and toped it with 20kgs of sugar. He is not just hyper active he is hypersuperuberactive. Husam if you are reading this I think you are adopted."

Maintaining isn’t my strong point. All the pets I have had (may they rest in peace) will confirm that. My first pet was a fish that I got at the age of two I flushed it down the toilet, while it was still alive. Then at age three and a half I got a pet turtle. In an experiment to check just how strong his shell was I threw him on to the road, from the tenth floor where it was run over by a series of trucks. I came to the conclusion that the shell wasn’t strong enough to withstand a 10 floor drop followed by a stampede of trucks but was strong enough to cause a massive truck pile up. Then at the age of 7 my dad got me a pony. It got extremely sick after it was bit by a crazy dog and died after my father tried to ride him to the neighbors' house when the car wasn’t working. I know I probably won't flush my girlfriend down the toilet or push her down the tenth floor and I definitely know that no crazy dog is going to bite her but knowing my dad he might, just might try to ride her back to the neighbors' house.


WHOA LONG POST

I think I will stop here- save some writing material for the next 50 blogposts to come, If I stay committed.

until then good night and good luck

The pursuit of happiness

So you dont know what to do with yourself. I have decided to become a Motivational speaker- and I have also decided you all need motivation to do something with your lives- I mean think about it the best thing you have to do with your time right now is to read this blog. So here goes...

P.S- please dont complain if there are spelling mistakes in this, my spellings arent that great- well my spellings are good they just lack direction- just like you guys.

All my life I have wanted to be somebody, now I want to be somebody else. Its the same with all of you, you want to be something, you want to do something- or someone. We all have goals to reach holes.

Its about time you started working towards your goals- You need to dream- you need have a vision- then you need to get off the drugs. Remember no important person got there by taking drugs- he took drugs after he got there.

Remember as a teeneger you are in the last stage of your life- after that you are living for others. Enjoy it while you can.

You have no direction in life- you dont know what you want- best thing to do is get everything- This is your time-leave no stone unturned, no oppurtunity untried- this is your time- after this- when they arrest you are charged as an adult.

A job is not like high school- if you were popular in high school you are going to have a bitch of a time trying to find a job- because all those nerds you made fun of are now working in the human resource department.

Before a job you need to get into university- University is the biggest groundwork for your adult life- it prepares you for all the forms you are going to have to fill as an adult. Just for managing to fill out those forms you deserve extra credit- and in some cases a dimploma.

You need to get an education, get a job and get a spuose. Then you need to look after your spouse using your job and education. Then you need to get sex education to get a job from your spouse.

You are going to be a parent- you are going to have responsibilities- The most successful parents are the infertile ones.

You are going to have baby- thats why sex brings pleasure if it didnt no one would reproduce- you want pleasure you got to have babies- its a trade-off.

You are going to have to teach your kids how to be a good respectable human being- The way to become a good successful human being is to stop being a kid.

You are going to have to teach your kids everything there is to know about life- forward them my blog address.

You are going to grow old- you need to look back at your life and be happy about it- and you will be wether you had a good life or not- it has nothing to do with satisfaction with old age- its because of all the drugs you will be on.

I hope I have motivated you to do something with your lives-

If not let me try to motivate you to do something else-

LEAVE A COMMENT

its easier to motivate in capslock.

I'm no superman

Superheroes have been around for decades and the most well known of them all has to be superman. Personally he I never liked him much, he was too super for me but litle did I know that his powers exceed even my imagination. HE is no doubt the greatest superhero ever.

Let me prove it too you---

Did you ever know about super mans super singing ability- the man can sing in octaves higher than any normal man. Not only can he break glass with his voice he can also break the heart of young, suave, sexy spiderwoman or who superman so effectionally calls his Lady. Superman can dance like no man before him. It is true that spiderman can swing in the air but superman- he can not only swing he also does the Salsa, the tango, tap dancing and pelvic gyrating all on the ground and in the air. Ofcourse its not all singing and dancing for superman who also takes breaks in the middle to save inncocent people in distress before he can continue on his date with his lady.

BUT the greatest power of superman is-----------

He can turn Indian, dont believe me well look for your self as Indian superman sings, dances and saves- its all in a days work for this superman.





In case you were wondering what the lyrics mean-
"you are my superman, I am your lady- lets begin our love already"




Ahhh but theres more- Klark Kent or as he is beter know back in India- Krishna Kutty is quite the ladies man and why shouldnt he be with his immaculate styling he follows the latest trends. I think supermans super vocals can oly be compared to the king- Elvis but evenelvis doesnt hold a candle to supermalabari I mean superman- so its only befitting that this superman wear an elvis costume.

This superman flies faster than any superman before him- moving from planet to planet in just a couple of song verses- this time his lady love has ofcourse changed but she is no less special than Lady- watch her as she dances in absolutely no gravity and sings where sound doesnt travel and tell me if thats not Super- What is?




Superman Truely returns

New year Revolution

This is the eighteenth new year of my life.

What have I learnt?

What has the year been about?

I have never been much of a science guy but something has come to my knowledge this year, something nobody else knows. THE EARTH IS SPINNING FASTER- 365 days are just whizzing by and we dont seem to be realizing it. We are busy with catching up with th speed of the world we dont take time to breathe anymore. Let me slow things down, tell you what the year has been about.


FRIENDS

Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, I have realised that when we tear up or when we need to smile we'll come to each other because no matter where we are or where we end up, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.

LOVE

When we talk about love people think of the heart. We have all seen what the heart looks like and its not pretty, it looks nothing like the candy or those heart shaped cuddly balloons. Its the same with love, it really not that pretty but like the heart it rejuvinates. I managed to fall in love in 2006 its 2007 and I still havent landed. I met the most amazing girl walking on the planet and it can sometimes be excrutiating when I realise that soon she will be walking another part of the planet and I will have nothing but footprints. But I have also realised this about love and the heart- I would rather have it hurt than have it stop beating.

EDUCATION

I once read that people use only 3% of their brains. I believe its the other way round, 3% of the brain uses people. We are nothing but tools of our head but what really sucks is we keep getting used by others. If at our age we do not keep our minds occupied with education than our brains would have too much free time to excersise control over us- we need education to keep us stupid.





This is ofcourse was the sober version of the year- the happier funnier version of what the year was about will come up next.


Happy new year on a sober note


I am just trying to help because if you start your new year on an extremely happy note than it will just bum you out when you realise things might suck. I am just preping you up.

Life is just a metaphor for a practicle joke.